Why Should You Sign a Prenuptial Agreement?

Prenuptial agreements define the essential binding terms in case of dissolution of the marriage. While prenuptial agreements may seem totally unnecessary during the romantic phase of your relationship, here are the top reasons why you need a prenuptial agreement before getting married.

Makes Settlements much Easier

A prenuptial agreement covers pretty much all facets of a marriage except for limitations relating to child support or child custody. Agreement terms defined before the wedding are much easier to follow and finalise when an agreement is drawn in order to avoid long legal battles during a divorce. It is important that both parties get their own legal council before signing a prenuptial agreement.

Helps Segregate Debt Obligations

The most common reason for doing prenuptial agreements is to determine a common ground regarding ownership of assets and financial liabilities. Prenuptial agreements may be used to segregate assets, debt obligations, credit card payments and sharing of expenses towards loans and other investments that are made after the marriage.

Helps Avoid any Unexpected Surprises

Prenuptial agreements save you from any unexpected surprises and provide a clear understanding of the potential consequences in case the marriage ends. It allows you to maintain separate ownership of items you owned prior to marriage so that they will not be divided in the event of a divorce. It also helps couples to know which items are jointly owned when they purchase properties or make other investments together.

Helps Protect Children from the Previous Marriage

Couples entering a marriage for the second time often opt to sign a prenuptial agreement. Clauses pertaining to responsibilities, obligations and distribution of assets to children from previous marriages can be added to the agreement. This ensures that children are well protected against any changes in assets from their parents.  

Prenuptial agreements are not just a way of declaring the ownership of family properties and assets after a divorce. A well-crafted prenuptial agreement written with a help of certified family law specialist in California helps determine your role and your responsibilities in a marriage.

Factors to Consider During Child Custody

Custody arrangement for children is a painful yet important part of a divorce process. Before you begin working with a San Jose family attorney to draw up a custody agreement, here are some factors that you must consider for the best interests of the children.

Negotiate and try to find Common Ground

Joint custody of the child is often what is decided in most situations. Talk to your soon-to-be ex about how you can effectively take turns in a shared custody arrangement with the child. Legal battles over child custody can cause an adverse impact on the child’s growth and the Court will make the final decision according to what they determine is in the best interest of the child.

Minimize all disruptions to Children

The post-divorce period for the children is a difficult phase and therefore their living arrangements must be such that there are no disruptions from school or other co-curricular activities. The child should be able to spend quality time with both parents and still be able to lead a normal life.

Ensure the “Secure” Feeling is Still Intact

Younger children often feel threatened and insecure during and after a divorce. It may help use mediator to ensure the child gets a chance to communicate and spend time with both parents. Keep the communication lines open with your ex on all issues relating to your children and their emotional wellbeing. 

Keep Your Responsibilities and Know your Rights

Remember a legal custody is different from physical custody. While reviewing the child custody statement, ensure all rights relating to the upbringing of the child such as education, relocation and medical care are clearly stated. Talk to your family law attorney to ensure you are well aware of your responsibilities, obligations and legal rights.

Understanding Status Quo and Challenging the Arrangement

It is true that status quo is an important factor in Californian child custody cases, but there are several other considerations before the court arrives at a decision. For instance, if the non custodial parent (during the informal custody arrangement) has made an effort to be in touch with the child, then it would be contrary to the law to implement status quo.

Time and again, we have stressed that a court always considers the safety, health and wellbeing of a child before deciding custody. Thus, if parents have been following a schedule for a significant period of time and if the child is comfortable with such an arrangement, the court considers status quo as the basis of forming a decision.

Instances When This Can Be Challenged:

Non custodial parents can request the court to modify this arrangement especially with regards to visitation rights. For instance, a parent with joint custodial rights who had to relocate to another city or join active military service may have obviously left the child with the other parent. He/she can however challenge such a sole custody. Such a medication cannot be demanded as a matter of right, but as a consideration. The court takes into account efforts undertaken by the non custodial parent to maintain a relationship with the child.

Dealing with Manipulative Parents:

The child custody attorney in San Jose does not allow any parent to take advantage of the status quo arrangement. Parents sometimes use manipulative techniques to alienate the other parent from the child whilst taking advantage of the status quo arrangement. In such instances, the disadvantaged parent can request to relook into the current custodial arrangement.  Examples where a parent can be accused of manipulation include instances where the non custodial parent is denied rights to take care of the child, take part in school related activities, not communicating important decisions related to the child, or even making false allegations of physical abuse.

Child Custody Trials and Children: How to Prepare Your Mind Before You Prepare your Children for the Trial

Child custody is never easy-even in cases where parents are trying for an amicable split. Preparing children for the process is indeed difficult, but not more than preparing your own self. Here’s how to parents can prepare themselves before managing their children.

•    You still have child custody rights- irrespective of your past choices or decisions:

You may have made questionable choices in the past but that does not disqualify you from claiming your rights to child custody or visitation rights. But keep in mind that the court always considers the child’s welfare in mind before deciding on custody.

•    Display respect and dignity towards your ex-partner/ spouse:

Your ex is still the other parent and a significant aspect of your child’s life. Sometimes a parent may try to alienate the other parent from the child either by sharing their marital woes with the children or calling them names. Such children often distance themselves or even display animosity towards the other parent. Psychologists term this as Parental Alienation syndrome and warn against this attitude towards the child. This can have very serious consequences for a child’s future. He/she may struggle to have relationships or and may even end up with substance abuse. 

•    Interfering in a parent-child relationship can only lead to change in custody:

If one parent acts in an uncooperative manner or attempts to disrupt the parent-child relationship (with respect to the other parent), the court may consider such behavior as misconduct and even order a change in custody. Willful acts of interference may lead to fines, community service and even jail.

•    Evaluate yourself honestly as a parent and decide selflessly on what is right for the child:

There have been many instances where a parent has selflessly given away their rights for sole custody. This is not because they’re bad parents, but because such a decision would be in the best interest of the child. Contested Santa Clara child support cases can be very dirty with each party trying their best to sully the other person’s reputation.

Child Custody and the Battered Woman Syndrome

The term ‘battered woman syndrome’ was first coined by Dr. Lenore .E. Walker. He used this term to explain an irrational behavior among women who continue to live in an abusive relationship. Although, the original description was for women, it can also be described for battered men as well.

Dr. Walker explained that women continued to remain in an abusive relationship for several reasons that included economic dependence, a feeling of insecurity without the abuser, potential danger to children, loss of self esteem, etc. Women believe that the abuse is a direct/indirect result of their fault and often think that their tormentor is omnipotent.

Can an Abused Spouse Automatically Assume Child Custody?

In the instance of domestic violence, the court begins by presuming custody against the person accused of committing domestic violence. But the court’s prime concern is the welfare and safety of the child/children involved in the divorce. Thus, an abused victim cannot automatically assume that he/she is entitled to Santa Clara child support. Many states including California direct the judge to consider the best interest of the child but with the preference for joint custody [Section 3011 of the California Family Code]. Thus, the court can grant custody to the spouse accused of domestic violence, but it may have to clearly specify the reasons for the same [as per the California Family Code amendment].  The onus to prove that he/she is a good parent lies on the parent itself. Doing so ensures that the welfare of the child is the prime concern in a case. An example of this is the O. J. Simpson case where the judge granted custody to Simpson although he had a history of domestic violence and was even found guilty of murdering the children’s mother.

However, courts also consider secondary effects of domestic violence on children. In another case, an expert witness testified that children could suffer emotional harm by absorbing the helplessness and dependency experienced by the mother. 

Relief for Battered Spouses, Grounds for Divorce and Other Related Issues

 

The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey conducted by the US Centers for Disease Control and Injury Prevention claims that around 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men are victims of sexual violence through an intimate partner. Women in particular, are 4 times more likely to be beaten and 6 times more likely to be slammed against something. (Source: http://www.cpedv.org/Statistics) Abuse may be physical or emotional. Although, California is a ‘no fault’ divorce state, men and women who have been victims of battery and assault have some rights. They include:

•    When a spouse indulges in an extramarital affair and contracts a sexually transmitted disease, thereby giving the innocent party a sexual transmitted disease, this results in ‘civil battery’. Besides being grounds for divorce, the innocent party may also initiate a separate civil proceeding against the partner/spouse, or request the court to consolidate both the cases.

•    Mediation can be dangerous when domestic violence is involved during the divorce. Hence the abused spouse can request the court to waive off mediation. Similarly, other requirements such as parent education can be waived or can be adjusted so that both partners do not have to attend the session at the same time.

•    When domestic violence is an issue in the divorce, the court allows certain financial considerations. Thus, if money is an issue, the victim can request the court to waive off costs for subpoenaing witnesses, notary fees, going to mediation, etc. or get the offending spouse to pay for them.

•    Similarly, arranging joint custody of children can be dangerous in such cases. However, the victim cannot assume that the court would easily handover the child’s custody without evaluating the circumstances related to the case. The court almost always supports the ‘friendly parent’ in such cases. Therefore, as a rule, it is best to avoid displaying a negative attitude towards the other parent.

Finally there are various arrangements to help battered spouses to represent their case without the need for a lawyer, however its best to seek legal help from a San Jose family attorney especially when the stakes are high.

Successful Co-parenting: Back to School Tips for Divorced Parents

Successful co-parenting need not be an oxymoron if the divorced individuals display self restraint and maturity. There may be many instances that may test a parent’s patience and is likely to become a battleground. Getting back to school after the summer holidays is one such instance. Here are a few tips to help co-parents manage the back to school routine successfully:

•    When in doubt, refer to the settlement order regarding parenting plan:

Issues concerning parenting responsibilities are discussed in detail in the divorce order. Make sure that you refer to the parenting plan before you raise an issue with your ex-spouse. Consulting these documents is likely to solve many issues.

•    Check your ego at the door:

Most co-parenting issues including school-related problems can be sorted if both or either of the parents decides to let go of their ego. Sometimes you may not agree with your ex-spouse’s view on things, but if it does not harm your child’s interest, it is alright to let go. The ex-spouse is also your child’s parent and would only want the best for him/her.

•    Plan everything in detail:

Sit with your ex to plan activities for the entire academic year. This includes planning about school breaks, weekends, co-curricular and extracurricular activities. Things may not always go as planned, but at least you have a general idea about who does what and when. This also allows time to plan other related aspects.

If problems creep in despite your best effort to keep things amiable, take a step back and think- ‘what’s in the best interest of my child’ or hire a certified family law specialist in California. I’m sure the answer to this question would solve almost every issue.