Child Custody Trials and Children: How to Prepare Your Mind Before You Prepare your Children for the Trial

Child custody is never easy-even in cases where parents are trying for an amicable split. Preparing children for the process is indeed difficult, but not more than preparing your own self. Here’s how to parents can prepare themselves before managing their children.

•    You still have child custody rights- irrespective of your past choices or decisions:

You may have made questionable choices in the past but that does not disqualify you from claiming your rights to child custody or visitation rights. But keep in mind that the court always considers the child’s welfare in mind before deciding on custody.

•    Display respect and dignity towards your ex-partner/ spouse:

Your ex is still the other parent and a significant aspect of your child’s life. Sometimes a parent may try to alienate the other parent from the child either by sharing their marital woes with the children or calling them names. Such children often distance themselves or even display animosity towards the other parent. Psychologists term this as Parental Alienation syndrome and warn against this attitude towards the child. This can have very serious consequences for a child’s future. He/she may struggle to have relationships or and may even end up with substance abuse. 

•    Interfering in a parent-child relationship can only lead to change in custody:

If one parent acts in an uncooperative manner or attempts to disrupt the parent-child relationship (with respect to the other parent), the court may consider such behavior as misconduct and even order a change in custody. Willful acts of interference may lead to fines, community service and even jail.

•    Evaluate yourself honestly as a parent and decide selflessly on what is right for the child:

There have been many instances where a parent has selflessly given away their rights for sole custody. This is not because they’re bad parents, but because such a decision would be in the best interest of the child. Contested Santa Clara child support cases can be very dirty with each party trying their best to sully the other person’s reputation.

Child Custody and the Battered Woman Syndrome

The term ‘battered woman syndrome’ was first coined by Dr. Lenore .E. Walker. He used this term to explain an irrational behavior among women who continue to live in an abusive relationship. Although, the original description was for women, it can also be described for battered men as well.

Dr. Walker explained that women continued to remain in an abusive relationship for several reasons that included economic dependence, a feeling of insecurity without the abuser, potential danger to children, loss of self esteem, etc. Women believe that the abuse is a direct/indirect result of their fault and often think that their tormentor is omnipotent.

Can an Abused Spouse Automatically Assume Child Custody?

In the instance of domestic violence, the court begins by presuming custody against the person accused of committing domestic violence. But the court’s prime concern is the welfare and safety of the child/children involved in the divorce. Thus, an abused victim cannot automatically assume that he/she is entitled to Santa Clara child support. Many states including California direct the judge to consider the best interest of the child but with the preference for joint custody [Section 3011 of the California Family Code]. Thus, the court can grant custody to the spouse accused of domestic violence, but it may have to clearly specify the reasons for the same [as per the California Family Code amendment].  The onus to prove that he/she is a good parent lies on the parent itself. Doing so ensures that the welfare of the child is the prime concern in a case. An example of this is the O. J. Simpson case where the judge granted custody to Simpson although he had a history of domestic violence and was even found guilty of murdering the children’s mother.

However, courts also consider secondary effects of domestic violence on children. In another case, an expert witness testified that children could suffer emotional harm by absorbing the helplessness and dependency experienced by the mother.